I watched a lot of Barack Obama’s inauguration day. There were many moments when I could see the audience on television getting teary-eyed and I got teary-eyed a couple of times watching Sasha and Malia. Their natural delight and excitement moved me—the innocence and honesty of children often do. These two little girls seem comfortable in their own skin. They have obviously not been coerced to be like little adults, just themselves, and their bright smiles seemed genuine. Donna Brazile, a political commentator, told a CNN announcer that she had a wonderful seat, close to the little girls. She asked Sasha in a mock-stern voice if she was doing well at school. She smiled back and said “you’re not my Mom”.

Cheeky? I don’t think so. I prefer to think of it as spunky. (With a good sense of humour).

It seems fitting, in these times of global crises that affect every one of us, and can shake and alarm our sense of stability, that we consider what makes our children resilient. Obeying rules without question? Fitting in and going along? Learning because they have to get a job sometime? Ignoring conflict?

No. The ability to bounce back from adversity requires a person to be able to be creative, imaginative and flexible. It requires a person, when necessary, to feel deep insecurity and perhaps, from time to time, grief, loss and fear. The strength to endure these emotions gives us the strength to move through them.

The more we allow our children to feel, think, and speak, the more they can revel in their own unique selves.
However, as both a parent and a teacher I know that this is not an easy task. To invite a child show her varied colours does not always please us. But then a child should be free to use her energy to discover her being, rather than only to please others.

Creative expression (writing, acting, playing) gives our children a much-needed additional outlet in this process of self discovery.
*substitute he/his for your son